You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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