The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize