Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
