he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You don't make any sense
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