I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
