dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
