Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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