The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
