I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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