When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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