well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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