My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
