So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
