I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
