I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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