6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
and she was petting her beer can
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
