Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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