he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
