too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
