i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
