Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
