he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
