bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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