super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
