maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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