If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
