There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
