your thong is hanging out like whoa
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
