I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
