So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
