My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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