Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
