ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
