she woke up with a sticky ear
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
