yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
