I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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