Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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