If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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