please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
