There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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