How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
