I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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