Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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