I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
