Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
