okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
