Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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