no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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