hotel room ftw
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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