you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
