member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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