so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
