Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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