I need help removing her.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
