He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize