This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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