just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
