If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
