ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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