garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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