So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
